It was pandering to my evilest self,
the sign I was birthed under,
the snake I was born to be.
The distance between us had grown,
the miles stretching further
with each yawn hushed over the phone,
everyone else I had to ignore
to shut myself off from the world
and speak soul-ly, only to you.
But this I would never share.
If you hadn’t figured it out by now,
if all your hopes bred with denial
hadn’t connected the dots
like the child’s picture we were
making mockery of a former us,
then you deserved the pain as a lesson.
You’d said you wanted to remain pure
until marriage, and my most innocent,
high school self had agreed.
But college changed me,
the longing vexed us,
and I finally found the silver tongue
I’d always been hiding.
Innocence doesn’t taste good
after being preserved
for more than three years.
There’s an expiration date on everything,
I just had the bitterness to read it first.
But after all that work,
I’d be damned if I’d let
someone so sweet, so clean,
leave me untainted.
I may be damned already –
this slither has a knack
for knocking and unlocking
even the darkest of doors.