Day 26 – How to Bake a Racist Cake
– 3 brown eggs (for beating)
– 5 white eggs (for egging)
– 2 lbs. plantation flour (the best you can get your hands on)
– 40 ounces of ignorance
– a beefed-up, overzealous police force
– 1 ripe national incident
– 6 friends who seek race issues in everything
– 6 friends who see race issues in nothing
– thousands of social media activists
– 24 hours of indistinguishable talking heads and political pundits
– 20 mouths claiming to be “the voice of our people”
– heavy sense of entitlement (1 can)
– 2 sticks of real butter
– 1.5 cups of food-desert milk
– white sugar(a whole damn bag)
Mix all this together. Be sloppy,
caution only makes the batter bitter.
Bake slowly at a temperature equivalent
to 225 years of slavery in a greasy,
Slather in white-privilege frosting
made with just a pinch of pale guilt.
sprinkle on black bodies.
Sprinkle on brown bodies.
Sprinkle on red bodies.
Sprinkle on yellow bodies.
Slather on more white frosting.
Serve chilled, but never cold,
and preferably at a large, family gathering.
Avoid cutting the slices equally.
Cake will be gooey and will spill
over onto the rest of your clean plate.
It will not wash off easily.
Bite in with wild abandon anyway.
Repeat until bloated,
until you just can’t swallow anymore.
Purge it all and choose to starve
instead of partaking.
you’re tired of suffering